Shout Out to the Partners

Alright folks, I am 29 weeks pregnant which means I only have 11 WEEKS LEFT!!! I cannot believe it! I’m officially in my third trimester, which means this is the last stretch. As you know, the hardest leg of any journey is right before you reach the top, so I’m sure it will be filled with many challenges. But, I feel ready and prepared to face them. Which would be so much more difficult for me to do without my support system.
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​“Honey, can you please reach that for me?”
“Would you pick that up for me, babe?”
“Can you grab that from upstairs please, love?”
Needless to say, my husband has been hearing these things a LOT lately.
Sometimes, it’s just a puppy-dog look while I stare helplessly at some item I’ve just dropped on the floor.
​(I’m not yet to the stage where I can’t squat down for things, but it’s very uncomfortable when I do. The baby definitely lets me know she doesn’t like being so squished!)
David recently joked, “Maybe I should start my own blog… for the husbands. This pregnancy stuff is hard for us.”
He meant it very playfully, of course. But, it has prompted me to think…

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The focus of pregnancy is almost exclusively on us women (cause, well, DUH!) We shoulder all the responsibilities. From the physical burden of our changing bodies to the adjustments we have to make to our lifestyles… pregnancy effects almost every aspect of our lives. While the guys, pretty much, get to carry on as normal. They can keep drinking if they want. They can keep smoking if they want. If they like high-impact activities like rock-wall climbing or something, they don’t have to stop. Whereas we have to make all those sacrifices and more.
But, that’s not to say that our fellas aren’t going through some changes, too.
So I wanted to take a minute to shift the focus from us women and to shine a light on our partners.

(Sidebar: I fully acknowledge that not everyone’s romantic partner is a cis-male. For the sake of simplicity, I will refer to them, but that’s just for the purpose of fluidity in writing; it’s not meant to be exclusionary. Everything I say pertains to romantic partners of any gender-identity.)
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First of all, I am incredibly lucky. I not only have a devoted husband who loves me, he also wants this baby every bit as much as me. I recognize that not every pregnant woman has a partner that has stuck around. And not every pregnant woman has a partner to begin with. So let me start by saying, you do not need to be in a relationship to have a baby. And if you are single and pregnant, I’d like to give you hella props because I can only imagine how tough some of these pregnancy challenges can be on your own—so pat yourself on the back for being an incredible warrior, lady!

Becoming a parent is a daunting journey, for both men and women. Yes, we go through all the visible, tangible transformations, but our partners are still on that journey, too. Theirs, however, is more unseen. As they emotionally prepare for fatherhood, they also support us as we go through this myriad of changes.

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I don’t know about you, but my husband has really stepped up to the plate! He helps me with so much. The division of labor in our household used to be mostly 50/50—I’ve never mowed the lawn (in my defense, I warned him when we moved in that I found gas mowers intimidating and would only use a push mower; so I mean, he made his bed…) and he rarely cleans the bathroom. But otherwise, we usually split up our chores pretty evenly. Since being pregnant, however, my husband does anything that involves even the most remote form of lifting or pulling or reaching. I can’t even remember the last time I took out the trash.

And it’s not just the little things, like helping me bend over for stuff or doing the dishes even when it’s my turn. He makes me feel pampered. Every day, he tells me I’m beautiful, even though my body is continuously changing. I get foot and back massages. And he does everything he can to limit the stress I might feel.
I could continue singing his praises, but I’ll spare you. My point is that he does all this whilst going on his own emotional journey preparing for fatherhood. It’s not the same as the female experience, which is obviously more arduous. But, it’s still worth remembering that they are going through a process, too.
I’ve told my husband that I am writing this and all he did was laugh. “I don’t do anything,” he says. He really is the best.

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In any case, sorry it’s been so long since my last post! I was busy finishing the first draft of my novel which I can now officially say is complete. In all this preparation for the baby, like building registries and buying supplies and preparing her room… it’s important to still take time for yourself. The foreseeable future after she’s born will be a little chaotic, I’d imagine. So I wanted to take this time beforehand to finish some projects that are just for me. My novel was a big one as I’ve been working on it now for almost two years. I’m so grateful that I’ve had this time recently to devote to it; extra free-time is one of the few perks of this coronavirus!
That’s all I really have for today. As usual, I’d love to hear from you! What were some of the ways that your partner shined when you were pregnant?
What was 29 weeks like for you?
Did you have a project/goal that you wish you had finished before you gave birth?
I’d also love to hear if you have any suggestions for what my next post should be about…
​Take care till then and stay safe! xx